I recently inherited an old Kyocera printer / scanner / fax combo thing to replace my crappy HP Deskjet. Don’t ask for the Kyocera’s full name, because it’s something like “FS-1118-9000-Mfp_47b” (I think they just make those up off the top of their heads). Its features include:
- Random beeping and flashing buttons
- A scanner that makes documents look like smeared watercolors
- Sudden and unexpected whirring and clunking noises, to scare the crap out of me (it sounds like it needs an exorcist)
- Confuses the heck out of Windows 7 when I plug it in
- Creates ambiguous error messages like “MP load tray error – check paper spool drive.”
- Uses ink that costs as much as pure unobtainium
I’ve tried everything to make it work better: I replaced the toner, cleaned the scanner’s glass, re-installed the drivers, played it calming classical music–but nothing worked. Come to think of it, though: it would make an excellent target for the shooting range.